After a breakup , it seems the world has ended and the beauty of this world is turned into darkness. Its normal to feel this way ! its normal if you are thinking : was he/she the one for me? will I ever find love again? why did he or she did this to me ? why is she happy without me? she will come back to me one day ! there will be too me what if, why me, should i or should i not. Confusion at this point is inevitable Believe it or not almost every one of us goes through this. I had my seven year old relationship come to end and it was painful like hell, i surfed internet all day long searching the same topic, i bought books about breakups, read blogs, even met psychiatrists. Worst part is that people are trying to make money out of breakups just like people making money by making you believe you’re in love ! YES sex and love is billion dollar industry, the songs, the movies. Did you ever ask yourself how many singers who sang the perfect love song are happily married ? or how in love in their real lives are the people who made perfect love movies or wrote love stories? NONE is the answer !
It took me over a year and a half, but i did because i believed that i will get over her but you have to believe one thing and one thing only “YOU WILL GET OVER IT ! ” every one does, it seems impossible right now but it will happen. TRUST me there will be a day when you will be looking back and laughing at this all. This break up is just about to change you as a person, it will mature you and teach you a lot about life ! YOU WILL GET OVER IT and YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE BETTER ! and this time you would know more about relationships
If you really want to get over this you will have to force yourself to simply follow these 5 steps ! and NO there is no other easy way out from this .
1. Don’t try to get her/him back
You need to understand the relationship has ended, whether you like it or not. Stop doing things in order to get her back. If you looked any better he would come back ? NO ! fact is that no matter what you do he or she isn’t coming back ! This relationship just ended because it wasn’t meant to be ! Nature has something else planned for you ! don’t try to fight nature ! So step 1 : BURN every thing that reminds you of her/him. YES this is the most cruel step, but there is no moving on if you don’t take this step. Delete that number from your cellphone, throw away all love letters, give away all the gifts you got from him/her. Free yourself from all these chaias. The sooner you do this sooner you have a chance to move on and find THE REAL ONE. If you can then you need to stay away from her, mutual friends and people who are linked with her. Don’t let your Ex take control over you by knowing you still want to be with them or talk things out, you will be at stake here.
2. STOP listening to love songs !
This is the biggest mistake you will make. Its time to face the reality, and listening to “stupid love songs” will do you no good ! Stop enjoying the pain. If you wanna listen to songs listen to some fun song, watch some fun movies. This is the time do something new ! Thank god for getting out of this relationship because sooner you come out sooner you will find THE ONE !
3. Spend time with your friends
After my breakup the biggest comfort i had were friends ! the path to normal happy life will become 5 times easier if you have good friends around you ! talk to them talk to people, share your sadness and sorrow, tell them how you feel. Trust me if they laugh about it and tell you that “Never mind, move on” then they are helping you, even though you don’t want to listen to the same old crap but this crap is what is going to go in the back of your head slowly and gradually. Stay away from friends who tell you “ahhhh!! i feel so sorry for you”, ” i know it hurts and you will never get over it”, “look at me i am still miserable without him”. these are the kind of friends who are all over it and just enjoy seeing you miserable !
4. No rebounds
I never understand why people think rebounds help ! rebounds are always a mess ! you enter a vicious cycle of comparison. while at rebound you WILL obviously for all the certain reasons compare your Ex with your rebound, and since this rebound is nothing real so the winner of this comparision will be your Ex ! sex might be good since its zero obligation sex. but then after that this is what is exactly going to be in you’re head : “this rebound is nothing like my Ex”, ” what i had was beautiful and this is nothing like it”. Fact is that at this stage of your life you need to stay single !!! you need to give relationship life a break ! you can’t open another book with the previous one not closed yet. so NO rebounds ! !
5. Be a better person
Focus on how the whole situation has affected you and try to take the positive things with you into the future. Be a better person and not a bitter person. Start doing things which would make you happy and give you a sense of achievement. Know this : if you are going to be negative and think you are a loser then trust me thats exactly what you are !!! Don’t go there. Life ain’t about being a winner or a loser ! and no one is a loser !!! its our attitude that defines who we are. So Fight this.
Questions please !
Article publié pour la première fois le 17/02/2012