What is happiness? It is defined as “a state of tranquility free from anxiety and emotional disturbance”. Well that is just the pedantic definition of happiness because happiness has a different meaning for different people. More money, a happy family, a good job, a loving partner; these can be some of the desirable prerequisites to attain the ever-elusive “happiness”.
For most people, a happy social life is the key to happiness. After all, a human being is a social animal. To be able to communicate and reflect our thoughts and ideas is an innate need that we constantly strive to fulfill. In a study of 222 college students, the 10 percent measuring happiest differed from the remaining students in one primary way: they had a rich and fulfilling social life. They were also rated the highest on good relationships by their friends.
So how do you build on a flippant social life? This question becomes all the more important for people who have suffered heart break, disappointments, fights and enmity in their past experiences and are all too scared to go out and make new friends again! Going through an ugly divorce, dealing with difficult ex-spouses, or ‘psycho’ friends can tell you in a heartbeat that not all relationships are good for your health.
That said, researchers have been able to measure relationship quality in a study of 9,000 men and women. After the participants were given surveys about their relationships and the number and type of negative aspects in their close relationships, they were closely monitored for health problems. People with more negative aspects in their close relationships had a 34% increase in the risk of heart problems (even after taking weight, social support and other factors into consideration).
The sole reason behind this shocking adverse impact of bad relationships can be summed up in one word: Expectations. Free yourself from the shackles of expectations and you will feel like you set your spirit free – and without expecting anything you would always find yourself getting more in return! Every payoff, or at least most of them, would be fruitful. After all, when you do not expect your lover to give you compliments whenever he sees you, or you do not expect him to be the first one to wish you on your birthday, you won’t have to deal with the disappointment if he doesn’t do the aforementioned “obligations” or you might just be pleasantly surprised when he does fulfill them.
Think about it.. it’s a win-win situation! Having to get accustomed to “not expecting” can be an up-hill task on its own. After all, not expecting anything is expecting too much from yourself. But, once you get the hang of it, there’s nothing but sunshine ahead. Try it! Personal experience speaking here 😉
Article publié pour la première fois le 18/02/2012